Please, go away. Leave me alone, I can’t think about you anymore, moreover all the recollections are tearing my heart asunder. In each of them I’m finding lie and catch now. I don’t want to do like that! It’s all settled. There is no way back! Besides, I don’t love you anymore. That’s true. I live as I want to.
THEN WHY DO I STILL REMEMBER????? And the fire in my soul sometimes burns too strong – the flame of hope and offence, bitterness and sorrow. But the most awful thing is that the cinders of this flame are sparking ongoing. And this situation just defeats me. It’s over my force… to see things, faces or surrounding strangers and still find in each of them the part of your being: your smile, the profile of your face or your manners, the way you move, laughing; or notice the things, you are wearing; or hear the intonations of your voice, your phrases, your jokes… How can I forget you? When will I finally stop thinking about where are you now and what are you going to do at this moment of time? When will I stop fixating the time, you are going to the work or seating in your office, or going to play football with your friends? When will I at least stop synchronizing our lifelines? When will I forget your image – it stands in front of me constantly, it appears suddenly wherever it could be: on the window glass, on the street between trees, on the mirror of the underground… And when will I eventually stop noticing the brown coats? When will I not to pay attention to the black jeeps and run away from them, having afraid, that you were there? And when will I be able listening the slowly songs of “Roxette” without crying and remembering our times?
You …you are distracting me from my life!!!! WHY!!? I don’t love you, I have no beautiful feeling to you. I have imagined this love long ago and have already understood that, it was false and flam. You are not worthy of me. You won’t be able even to understand me. Besides, I DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE…
But… I’m afraid to meet you suddenly. We haven’t said many words to each other and it seems more and more clear with every new our meeting. And the burden of these words hangs on my neck and draws me to the place, which I can’t stand anymore – the place, where I can feel your smell !!! What can I do to forget you at all? To run away from such thoughts, which are just smothering me. Gad, you- are the only pain in my life. My dear bon ami, let me go… don’t hurt me… in the name of love, we once had – relax your hold on me, unhand me , GIVE ME MY FREEDOM BACK!!! I’ve just tired, because of you.