You Know You're Russian When... Your car costs more than your college education Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter you have been drinking or not Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer even when no coats are worn) Your idea of a normal Friday or Saturday night is spending it raving with 200-300 of your closest friends Your idea of a love song is Track 1 of the New York Underground Party Volume 3 CD. Things you can't live without include food, water, and a cell phone Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your friends in Russian font You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend's parents People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something...and you can Every sentence you say or hear starts with "blyat" and ends with "nahuy" You know the new line of Nokia's 3 months before they come out on the market You can't go to the movies on Sunday night without having to save 20 seats for your late friends cuz they're buying semichki You don't mind family get-togethers because you know the grandmas will be making dinner You know all the cops by their first names You know someone who works at a dental lab You are somehow related to most of the people you know On the weekends your place of residence is the pool hall, and every 10 mins the tolstii pon'chik tells you to pick up line 2 You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper Your Honda is a 5-speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs At any given moment you are carrying at least a dime bag of shmal'... Your uncle is in the Russian Mafia or is a former employee of the KGB. You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka .