Дневники

I wanted to apologize. I was a bit upset and sorry if I sounded
rude. I just didn't want to start sobbing or crying or banging my head on
the pavement)))))). By the way, “)))))” means I am joking. Anyway, I
didn't want to do it in front of you – it wouldn't help, would it?
Third, and most important. I need to say multiple thank you. Thanks # 1 :
When you were talking about Jamie, some of your words helped me to realize
that I must have made my husband deeply disappointed. He was marrying a
physician, who had ambitious plans to pass boards and start earning big
bucks, while his dream was to stay home with kids – and where am I now?
Bonding with firefighters, every husband's worst nightmare; plus I am
staying at home and he has to feed me and our daughter. Ha-ha.
Well, that realization didn't take me far – after I returned home we
started doing couple therapy, that's when Meg came into our house to
babysit. Once. It was a therapist's homework for us. Didn't work out – he
got tired of therapist as well. We actually made it through three sessions
and one date. Probably, I did something wrong as usual. I can't really
blame anybody, how can I blame him for not loving me? I can't make anybody
love me. I just have to let it go.
Well, falling for you really helped me through this class without any
further embarrassment - I could sincerely ignore everybody else. So you
protected me not knowing about it – thank you anyway. Your words about not
making out with fellow same-station firefighters was another favor – I did
believed it and I could come home with honest eyes assuring my husband
that nothing is going on in those walls.
Dreams about you helped me through the ignorance, abuse and neglect))))).
And for a wife neglect is the worst (in case you will get married and
some day will decide to teach your spouse tricks by not touching her –
remember me than))))) . Again – my husband is not a bad guy. He stopped
loving me, that's all. And I fell for the right guy - you. Because I have
to say thank you for what you did – it was a right and noble thing to do,
and you did it really well (believe me - I can tell, it was the best
rejection in my life). Plus I guess I am not the first one to be in that
position. And not the last, so I am glad for every body else too.))))
Really, I was deeply touched all the way to babysitter's and back, I feel
ashamed – it was not a decent thing to do on my part. But it was worth
asking. It was. It...
If you are still reading at this point, I have to say it is another stupid
Russian thing to do – love letter writing.

It is time for you to click “Delete”.